February 2011
24 posts
January 2011
25 posts
LWRKGJL
I don’t know why, but today I just had no patience for anyone’s bullshit. Specifically the customers today. Every time I am at work the customers seem to get stupider and stupider. Am I going crazy or did this bitch just ask me how much this jacket is? I pointed out the price tag and I’m like BITCH it’s right there. Sometimes I’m just like “WHAT? Is that a...
Leaving the Register
Me: I'm sorry sir I'm closed R over here can help you.
Customer: Just real fast.
Me: Sorry, sir I need to go to the fitting room. R can help you right over there.
Customer: I don't want to wait. Just real fast.
Me: [eorigjmsoigjosijgeosi BIIITCH! NO ONE WANTS TO WAIT BUT YOU FUCKING HAVE TO WAIT BITCH!] I'm closed.
BITCH
Customer: *waits by closed fitting room*
Me: *runs over to fitting room* Oh, I'm sorry, the fitting room is closed.
Customer: What?
Me: THE FITTING ROOM IS CLOSED
Customer: What? How am I Supposed to try this on then?
Me: (RLSEIGJTSLIHJSTIRLH HOW ABOUT COMING BACK WHEN WE ARE OPEN?!??!?!?) Uhh, We're closed.
Customer: Oh.
UUUUUUUGH
why can’t they develop games for mac? ughhhhhh PCs are so useless. a pain in the ass!
Bitch!
I’m your cashier. Not your motherfucking mindreader.
K-Drama at work
Z: A, I'm watching a new drama.
A: Is it any good?
Z: It's kind of retarded.
Me: Omg have you seen Boys over Flowers?
Z: Oh that's the one I was talking about.
A: The one where they're mean to that girl?
Me: lololol the one where they clothesline her off her bicycle, then egg her, fire extinguish her, and then light her bicycle on fire?
A: Omg you're hysterical.
Me: lololol it's because they're so mean to her.
A: What?
Me: lololol she was all bloody and then they lit her bike on fire.
Z: How does a bike even catch on fire?
Me: lololol
A: That one was stupid.
Z: Like when he plays the Sax in the club and all the girls swoon.
Me: lololol
A: So stupid.
Me: Or when the guy moves in next door. So the Mom has her house demolished.
A: OH yeah the nazi mom.
Z: My favorite part was when the nazi mom came over to the house and the girls mom poured rice all over her. I was like oh hell no.
Me: lololol and then she bankrupted her family.
A: lololol
coworker
J: *FARTS*
Me and N: Ew.
J: What are you gonna do about it Curtis?
Me and N: lolol
J: Yeah, that's what I thought, just keep smiling.
an hour or so later
J: Will you make out with me?
Me: Ew what?
J: nothing.
J: I said would you make out with me? I've never kissed a boy.
Me: You haven't?
J: Just kidding.
"BITCH YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE" →
lolol this one too
Guy: Nice shirt Mr. Robinson.
Mr. Robinson: GO TO DETENTION!
why is it so funny to me?! LOLOLOL
Derrick's teacher: *goes on about santa clause*
Derrick's friend: Snoop Dog says there ain't no santa clause!
Derrick's teacher: Snoop Dog says there ain't no santa clause?!
WHUT
Today I was driving and the lane next to me merged into mine so I sped up to get in front of the car that was next to me. Little did I know that car belonged to someone who was so offended by my maneuver that at the next red light, he got out of his car, walked over to my window and punched it. Uhhh. Ghetto. I wasn’t even in a ghetto area, but ghetto people will be ghetto wherever they are I...
SAFETY
Morning meeting agenda: Ladder and step stool safety.
1. Don’t stand on the top of the ladder.
2. Don’t shake the ladder.
3. Don’t put ladder on top of boxes and then climb it.
4. While climbing the ladder, hold onto it.
5. IF HAVING A PANIC ATTACK ON LADDER, STOP, HOLD ON TIGHT UNTIL YOU ARE ABLE TO SAFELY DESCEND THE LADDER.
are you fucking forreal?
customer
C: Is there an upstairs?
Me: Uhh...yes.
C: How do I get to there?
Me: (THE SAME WAY YOU GET UP THERE EVERYWHERE ELSE IN AMERICA. STAIRS.)
C: Oh there.
“Excuse me, I found this dress in the $15 section, but the tag says it is $20. Is...”
– Customer
customer coming up the stairs
Customer: Do you guys have a men’s section?
Me: Yes. It’s down stairs.
Customer: WHAT?
Me: …
Customer: Where downstairs.
Me: Right down stairs, you can’t miss it. (Oh wait. You did.)
Customer: …
coworker
J: So when are we going to meet your boyfriend Curtis?
Me: Not anytime soon.
J: Whys that?
Me: Well, he's not exactly my boyfriend.
J: So he's your fuck buddy?
Me: I guess.
J: I'm not sure you're ready for my next question.
Me: Just go.
J: So when he cums in your mouth...
Me: Let me stop you there. No one's cumming in my mouth.
J: Oh. I was going to ask if you pass his cum back to him. Like over and over forever.
Me: Yeah, I just save it till the next time i see him.
J: Like in a jar?
Me: Exactly.
J: You Japanese people are weird.
Me: Only to you. It's not weird for us.
J: I saw this documentary about this Japanese murderer. He murders people and he's not even in jail. Just walks the streets. He paints too.
Me: What does he paint? His victims? That's freaky.
J: Yeah, It's weird.
Me: Kinda artistic.
